Tags
Light Bite
Forget Colbert and go to The Botanist next door instead.
Tasting Menu
I am aware that my less than glowing review of Colbert is unusual, but I think there is an element of other reviewers being impressed by the “smart new brasserie at Sloane Square”. Well I live here and it takes more than my own postcode to impress me. This restaurant is sufficiently close to my house, in fact, that in the time it took the kitchen to prepare an edible bacon sandwich I could have walked to Partridge’s, picked up my favourite American bacon, cooked it at home and been back at Colbert for another cup of their fabulous coffee. I wish I had. Yes, the coffee was awesome but no one knew where it was from or what the brand was. If the waiters here don’t know any more than those at Café Rouge, what exactly am I paying for?
But let’s start at the beginning. As the restaurant was much anticipated and newly opened we made sure to book a table in advance to avoid the inevitable 45 minute wait for a walk in. We were ready on time but our table was not. The general manager tried to soothe our increasingly frustrated brows and offered a seat at the bar, but at 11.00 on a Sunday I really do prefer breakfast over hard liquor. Eventually our banquette was ready and we were seated in a light and bright corner of this cavernous brasserie. The aforementioned delectable coffee was delivered in an elegant silver pot and we settled down to read the papers and await the supposedly wondrous croque grand-monsieur and bacon sandwich. Well the croque was indeed as good as everyone says it is, but the bacon sandwich was a disgrace. I sent it back before it even reached the table and specified that I prefer my bacon a little less blackened. The hard sell of chips to accompany the croque also became a point of contention as they turned up 20 minutes after the main course and were stone cold. A second bacon sandwich of doom arrived to enrage me and we were half way out the door when an observant manager took us under her wing. She was as appalled as I was about the decimated sandwich and vowed that she would stand by the chef until he cooked one I could eat. And so she did. I eventually received a passable dish but by this time I was more than a little tipsy due to the stress-relieving wine I had used to stop me killing myself or someone else. Needless to say the meal was comped due this comedy of errors but to be frank it was not money that was the issue but inedible food served by largely disinterested staff. Due to the proximity of this venue to my house I might visit again, but only if Nathalie was working. It would not be safe for me or the staff otherwise.
Cuisine: Inspired by the great boulevard cafés of Paris
Address: 50-52 Sloane Square, Chelsea, SW1W 8AX
Telephone: 020 7730 2804
Website: http://www.colbertchelsea.com
Price: £0 but should have been about £40 for brunch for 2 people including booze
Nearest station: Sloane Square